Remembering
by stolenkisses87
Summary: Her father wants her to forget. PeterClaire. PG13.


So...this is officially my first attempt at Heroes fic. I'm always beyond nervous dabbling in a new fandom so I hope this turned out okay. It's Paire, because I can't get enough of them and it's super angsty because apparently someone's been shooting me up with hormones or something when I wasn't looking.

Title: Remembering  
Pairing: Peter/Claire  
Rating: Um, PG-13, maybe light R for possibly disturbing imagery  
Spoilers: Definitely the end of season one. Set in the beginning of season two but since I haven't seen a single episode of that season yet I don't really think that counts as a spoiler  
Disclaimer: Not mine  
Warnings: Definitely angsty. And AU, because in my head they aren't related. Unless you want to think of them that way, if so knock yourself out. It doesn't really affect the story one way or another. Oh and it's unbetaed, because it takes a miracle for me to actually write anything so I haven't really gotten around to getting one yet.

Her father wants her to forget.

She knows that everything he's ever done has always been for her, knows that this carefully constructed charade of normalcy that he fought so hard for is for her benefit, and she can't help but wonder how much more of himself he'll sacrifice for her before there's nothing left of the man she remembers with a teddy bear in his hand and a twinkle in his eyes.

She wishes she was still the girl that could've believed him when he told her it would get easier with time, wishes she could fill her head with thoughts of cheer routines and nervous dates instead of exploding men and burning cities, if for no other reason than to provide her dad with the illusion of normalcy she was starting to suspect he needed even more than her. But when she closes her eyes all she can see is a burning sky and fleeting images of hopeful brown eyes half concealed by soft brown hair and a crooked smile that took away any chance she had of ever being normal again.

After all her father's given up for her she desperately wants to let go of ridiculous notions like destiny and fate so she can be the strong, normal girl he needs her to be, but destiny and fate were ridiculous notions Peter defined his life by and she can't let go of the past if letting go of the past means letting go of Peter.

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Peter Petrelli gave her back the ability to feel the night he stormed into her life with a half-baked plan and his never ending supply of faith, saved her from the overwhelming numbness that had been all she'd been able to feel since she took that first jump by taking the fall instead. It was always easier to be the indestructible girl with Peter by her side, ready and willing to take that jump for her.

With every breath she takes she can feel the always constant ache in her chest and her heart breaks a little more when she realizes that the days of her father always being right have come and gone; there's no way any of this will ever be easy again. Easy became a figment of the past when Peter's laugh became nothing more than a vague recollection in her mind and the salty taste of her own tears replaced the taste of him on her tongue.

She can feel her father on the periphery of her life, anxiously awaiting the day she finds her way back to the girl she used to be. She wishes there was some way to put him at ease without weighing him down with the truth that not even the indestructible girl can recover from watching her heart explode across the New York City skyline.

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She knows she's betraying her father and the normal life he so desperately wants them to have by clinging to the past this way but she only really feels alive in the blissful moments that occur right after she steps off the ledge. The feel of the wind whipping her hair back from her face brings back the exhilaration she felt during all those late night flights with Peter and she's always pathetically grateful for the sobs that escape her throat when she's able to remember the heart breaking smile he was never able to contain when she'd squeal at every dip and turn he'd make.

The feel of flesh and bone knitting themselves back together after she hits the ground is replaced by the feeling of phantom fingertips gliding across her skin and her heart breaks all over again when the process is through and she's just left with the taste of dirt and guilt in her mouth.

She never really understood novel ideas like trust and faith until she saw them shining out of dark brown eyes that always managed to see something good inside of her and she should've fought harder to keep his love and light from burning out. The possibility that she could've saved him if she had forced Nathan to take her with them twists and burns in her gut like acid and she can't help but choke on the phantom dream that she could be lying in Peter's arms right now instead of coughing up dirt and blood as she clumsily tries to stand.

She had thought she was through hating this joke of a power the day Peter first slipped his hand into hers. Being able to keep him alive and well every time he ran head first into some impossible situation was reason enough to be grateful for this twisted gift but now she only feels grateful when she's balancing on the ledge. Peter sacrificed his life so that they all could live; so that _she_ could live, and she'll step off this ledge every day for the rest of her life if it keeps his memory alive inside of her.

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Her father wants her to forget.

Wants her to forget all about exploding men and burning cities and warm eyes and love and trust and all of the other fifty thousand things Peter Petrelli brought into her life.

Peter knew who she was before she was even sure of that herself. She'd never really felt completely at home with herself before she found a place in his arms and she doesn't know how to breathe without his hope and his love and his faith in her life.

She loves her father and she'd do almost anything to repay him back for all of the things he's sacrificed for her but she knows the last little bit of herself that's left standing would dry up and blow away in the wind if she completely forgot the feel of Peter's lips against her own and how complete she felt in his arms.

She can go to school and attend her classes and pretend to the best of her ability that she isn't fantasizing about a small New York apartment with an excellent view and the thousands of kisses and touches they shared there but she can't forget everything she's been through. Forgetting means ignoring her ability, and ignoring her ability would effectively put a stop to her nightly escapades.

She can almost feel Peter beside her every time she takes that fall and there's no way she can forget the only thing that keeps her moving.

Peter died so they could live, and she'll die over and over again if it will keep him with her.


End file.
